Psychology Training and My Mother

I thought it would be interesting to share with you a recent dream I had that involved my mother, in light of today being Mother’s Day.

In the dream, I am working as a psychologist-in-training. I am talking with my mother, who is a client. I am trying to get her to open up.

That was it. A rather short dream, but one I found very interesting. I found it interesting because my mother has not been a part of my life for the last several years.

My mother, for reasons only she knows, decided she wanted to be somewhere else in the world. She also thought not to tell me about the relocation in any way. I found out when I sent her an anniversary card (she married a man who is not my father twenty years ago). I received the card in the mail a couple of weeks later, labeled that the occupant had moved with no forewarding address. I then called, only to get a recorded message that said, “The number you are trying to reach is no longer in service.” And that was it. No idea where she went, and no way to get in touch.

My mother, Evon Gail Scott-Smith, in May 2001.

Initially, this was tough to handle. There is always a need to know why someone would uproot themselves and cut themselves off from family. As long as she is choosing to be gone, there will be unresolved issues, no sense of closure.

I had to rely on my Christian Metaphysical and Buddhist belief systems to get me through this time. A comfort to me was a verse from Christian Scripture: “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me” (Psalm 27:10, NIV translation), which I received from Spirit when my mother, once before, disowned me, but came back into my life some time later. At that time, I was led to pick up the Bible, and opened it right up to that Scripture.

I got to a place where I had to realize that she took such an action because, on some level, she felt that she had to. I am also aware enough to know that her actions are not a reflection of the kind of son I am. It took some time, but I got to the point that all I wanted for her was for her to be happy in her life. If she felt this was a “move” she had to make in order for that to happen, I had to get to a place of understanding that. To this day, I hold no ill will toward her. And, I really do mean it.

That is why the dream is so interesting. Working as a psychologist-in-training is a nice validation of my being in school for my Master of Arts in Psychology. It suggests that life is training me for being a psychologist. Having my mother in the dream, in light of the context I have just shared, represents my past. She represents a part of my life that is no longer an active part. As a mother, she represents the caring, nurturing aspect of me, the caretaker, if you will. Being a woman, she also represents my emotional, feeling nature. Trying to get her to open up is saying that I am trying to get myself to open up emotionally. The dream is showing me that I am like my mother in this respect. The process of working as a psychologist-in-training is saying that the psychological work is training me to become more open. If I can understand the process of opening up through psychology, and effectively apply it, I will be able to get other people to open up. People will see the benefit, because I will have experienced the benefit first. In the dream, the activity is talking, which suggests counseling psychology. This makes sense, as some of you will recall my dream “The Return Home,” in which the spiritual gift of counseling was indicated. Counseling is a spiritual gift that works through female energy, and one’s relationship with Mother can affect the ability.

I woke up this morning, with my mother on my mind, naturally. Being an ordained minister, as well as a Doctor of Metaphysics, I thought loving, positive thoughts of her. I said a prayer for her, hoping that wherever she is, she is living the life that she has always wanted to live. I affirmed that she is happy, healthy, and wealthy. And I don’t have to be a part of her life in order for her to live her best life.

I went to church later, and my minister talked about his mother and he said that mothers are “imperfect beings,” and he is right. I think we hold our parents up to be perfect, and they are not. If I am not perfect, why should I expect my mother to be? I realize she is a woman who is doing the best she knows how to do. Jesus the Christ said, “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34; NIV translation).

I share this with you because it helps me with the process of being open, which is one of the reasons I have this blog; it gives me a forum to do that, among the other things I do here. I also share this with those of you who may have relationships with your own mothers that are somewhat challenging. If that is the case, know that your mothers are imperfect people, and are not always aware of what they say and do, and the effects those words and actions may have. Know that they are always doing the best they know how to do at the time. Also, that they are a “work in progress.” Hope, wish, and want the best for them, no matter how circumstances are in the present.

As Maya Angelou said: “When you know better, you do better.” And that goes for our mothers as well.

Love and light,

James

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About James Himm

James Himm Mitchell, the Dreamer and Visionary of LifePlan Coaching & Consulting, LLC, works as an intuitive life coach, with a focus on personal growth and development. His specialties are Dream Decoding, Oracles (Tarot, Lenormand, and Angel cards), and Energy Medicine (Reiki), and he uses those modalities coaching individuals to create the tools and develop the strategies that transform their lives.
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2 Responses to Psychology Training and My Mother

  1. Sherri L Gilliland says:

    Thank You, James for opening up and sharing with us, about your mother and your personal feelings. I know that’s not an easy thing to do. I cried reading your story, not because of your mother leaving, so much, but because I too, am an imperfect mother. I have made so many mistakes and know that my children have suffered because of them. I love my kids so much and only wish I could have gone back and erased all my mistakes, but , of course I can’t, so I’ll only pray that they do well in life in spite of me. You’re such a good man, James and you have so much love that surrounds you every day, from people like me whose lives and hearts you have touched. I hope that you always feel that love and continue to keep the faith. Thank You again for sharing.

    • James Himm says:

      Sherri,
      Thank you so much for the kind words in your response; it moved me, as it was so heartfelt.
      Thank you for sharing about being an imperfect mother. Life has taught me that we learn more from our mistakes than when we do everything right. We are all imperfect beings striving toward perfection. As you ask yourself what you have learned from yours, take comfort in knowing that your children have also learned from your mistakes. I like to call mistakes “opportunities for growth.” I think this is one of the most valuable gifts we can give children: the ability to learn from mistakes, and to become better people for it.
      Thank you for your continued support with this blog, and my work in general. It is gratifying to know that the work I love to do is touching people in some small way.

      Love and light,
      James

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