From Tarot, with Love: 5 Tips for Finding Your Right Relationship

Tarot is a self-improvement tool I have used as both a consultant and a coach.

I have been reflecting on the questions that clients typically ask me during a Tarot consultation. Most often, questions fall into one of four categories: money, career, health, and love.

I now realize that, before I became a certified life coach, I have had the opportunity to coach clients on matters of the heart, with the Tarot in hand. A question commonly asked by clients, in the area of love, is “Will I be in a relationship again?”

So, from the Tarot (in the form of advice that I have given over the course of years conducting readings), with love, are 5 tips for finding the right relationship for you:

1. Process the previous relationship

This first tip consists of a few steps. First, ask yourself, “What did my last relationship teach me about myself? What did it teach me about my beliefs and attitudes about relationships?” This is key. Tarot is a self-discovery tool, and is designed to reveal information to you about you through the situation you bring to the cards.

Next, examine your beliefs about relationships by writing your “relationship story.” As a coach, one of my popular exercises is to have a client write his or her “story.” Everyone has a story to tell, and there is one for every aspect of a person’s life. I recently have been having clients write their “money stories” when they are wanting to work on their challenges with money and become more prosperous. This is no different. The exercise goes like this: You write your story about relationships starting with the relationship of your parents, and what that was like growing up. Then write something about every significant relationship you have had to the present time. Do you see any similarities in the relationships, any common patterns and themes? Take note; those patterns and themes reveal the beliefs you have acted out in your relationships.

Next, you want to “unpack the baggage.” Basically, this means doing the work necessary to keep the emotional baggage from the previous relationship from coming with you into your next one.

You also want to consider practicing forgiveness. Forgiveness is an act for you, not the other person. It is important not just to forgive the other person, but to also forgive yourself. That is the part that gets people hung up the most.

2. Be open and willing to be in a relationship

When this question is posed to the Tarot, I have found that the Tarot likes to give information to the client about being open and willing to be in a new relationship. The Tarot usually finds that people are holding on to issues that are preventing them from being available to be in a new relationship, because they are still “involved” in the previous relationship, and they haven’t really let it go.

3. Know the qualities you want in a relationship

Ask yourself, “What does my ideal relationship look like? What does it feel like?” Most clients can tell me what they don’t want, and feel challenged to tell me what they do want. When this happens, I suggest an exercise that helps to become clear. Take a sheet of paper, and on one side, make a list of the things you don’t want in a relationship. On the other side, for every item you list as “I don’t want,” write down its opposite. This list becomes what you do want. Then focus on that list.

4. What are the characteristics, qualities, and traits you want in a partner?

Make a list of all the qualities you want in your ideal partner in a relationship. Does this person need to be “caring,” “love animals,” “able to speak French?” This is important to note, as it is connected to our final tip…

5. Be the partner you want to have in a relationship.

Once you are clear on the qualities you want in a partner, model those qualities. For instance, if you decide that your ideal partner needs to be “caring,” then you must examine your own ability to be caring, and find the opportunities to demonstrate that more often. This is a practical application of the saying “like attracts like.”

And there you have it, the 5 tips from the Tarot to finding your right relationship.

If you would like to know more about the Tarot, schedule a consultation on matters of the heart, or share your thoughts on the tips from the Tarot, please feel free to leave a comment, post a response on the HIMM and/or LifePlan pages on Facebook, tweet me on Twitter, or e-mail me at with “Tarot and love” in the subject line. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Love and light,


About James Himm

James Himm Mitchell, the Dreamer and Visionary of LifePlan Coaching & Consulting, LLC, works as an intuitive life coach, with a focus on personal growth and development. His specialties are Dream Decoding, Oracles (Tarot, playing cards, and Lenormand), and Energy Medicine (Reiki), and he uses those modalities coaching individuals to create the tools and develop the strategies that transform their lives.
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